my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
