Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
