see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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