i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Randomize
