Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
