she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
how drunk are you?
Several
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
