I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Randomize
