It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
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