So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
