Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
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