i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Randomize
