she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Randomize
