i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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