I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Just pee around me
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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