I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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