So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
