Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
