those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
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