paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
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