I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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