honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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