I only kidnapped one of them. chill
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
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