Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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