I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
