and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
