Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
