I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Randomize
