He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize