He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
