Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
