You're completely useless in the revolution.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
It's official drugs can't kill me
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
