how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
