so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
