she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize