can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
