; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
You smell like stripper and shame
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
