Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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