I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Randomize
