12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
