She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
