she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Why did my mother make you get naked?
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
