i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Randomize
