dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
love makes seman taste better
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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