Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Randomize
