is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
