It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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