yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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