They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Randomize
