I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Randomize