Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
