they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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