My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
