K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
