I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
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