dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Did I show you my penis last night?
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
