he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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