So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
