He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Let's get the cat blown out
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
and eventually we just all took our pants off
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
