Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
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