So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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