Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
