no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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