i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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