No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
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