i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
this will be a night to untag.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
