Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Randomize
