Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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