No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
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