do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Randomize