Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Randomize
