Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
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