For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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