I must be too annoying 4 u.
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
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