did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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