one might say we're banned from that church
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Randomize