Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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