big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
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