Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Randomize
