Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
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