oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
